Daddys & Their Little Girls

I was at the coffee shop one night. It's a christian book store and coffee shop.  

Well, when I was there on this particular evening, I was sitting facing the storefront windows.  I happened to look up when a young man was walking in with his little girl.  She was probably about 7 years old, not much older than that.  They were holding hands and she was chatting away in the manner that I assume all little girls chat.  The young man looked down once in a while, smiling and responding with words that I could not hear.  She was all bouncy and skipping her way across the parking lot, all the while holding tight to her Daddy's hand.  He came to the traffic lane, put  his hand on her shoulder to stop her, looked both ways, took her hand again and they crossed the lane and entered the store.

He bought her a sweet drink and a coffee for himself and then they looked around a bit and left.

I was thrown back into memories and longing at the same time. Memories of a walk that I took with my Dad at a tender young age; and longing for those memories to be tender like the moment I had just witnessed.  The one walk I do remember with my Dad was not a tender moment.

So, as not to become a bitter and angry woman, I decided that I needed to really search for a good walking memory for Dad and I. I can choose to be happy and full of joy or I can choose anger.  There aren't too many memories, however, I do have a few...

Pescadero

Walking along Pescadero beach.

Shopping with him in 1995 - we were looking for a fun shirt for my newborn baby - a trinket to remember the trip later.

Walking with him, while holding his hand, to his Father's funeral.

Walking through the marsh with him when he came to visit us in our home here in Wisconsin.

Not many walks, not many at all, but these few that I do have I have decided to hang on to. I have decided to put them at the front of my memory banks.  I am happy for the little girl that I saw. Happy that she will have some young memories of happiness and togetherness with her Daddy.  I may not have had the best role models, but there are good role models out there that I can use as examples and conversation starters for my own sons.  I may not personally have had the best, but God puts people in my path, thereby showing me some of the best that is out there; and for that I am thankful.

Me and My Co-workers

Ten Things That Make Me A Happy Momma

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Raising a Modern Day Knight - Pondering #6

Your son's desires are written on his heart. When was the last time you listened to his dreams for the future? Have you helped him set the goals he'd like to make for himself? Have you encouraged him to pursue his interests? What specific things have you done to focus him in the areas which he's naturally gifted?

I know that Rick has always been musically inclined. However, I think he is alot like me - once it's "conquered" he's ready to move on.  None-the-less, we've helped him with his instruments - violin, drums and guitar, practices and exposed him to musical venues and opportunities.

Rick also likes planes. He wants' to be a pilot. So, we've introduced him to pilots we know, the EAA, the Young Eagles Program, Dodge Co. Airport had a seminar and Matt took him. We have helped him with some initial planning to save up for flight lessons and a basic timeline of how things should/could turn out for him with regards to money and schooling.

Baking is another thing that Rick enjoys - I taught him all I know, get him what he needs and let him have at it.  He's pretty dang good with the breads.

Benjamin has always had a vivid imagination and at first we thought it was more artistic, but it turned out to be creative writing. So he's writing his novel.  To encourage this we bought him a netbook for his birthday, helped him earn money towards a full sized laptop, focused his education on English and writing and found all sorts of different authors to read for exposure to different writing styles.  The biggest thing I found for Ben was NaNoWriMo This site of forums and young authors has helped to expand his horizons tenfold!

Ben is more introverted than his extroverted older brother, so finding things for Ben was a challenge. However, we found, early on, that Ben is also very musically talented.  Once this was realized we showed him different instruments, got a few lessons in him, introduced him to all of my musically inclined family & friends. His biggest achievement was being a part of a Worship team at an area church we briefly attended. That led to playing (very seldom, but playing none-the-less) at a local Christian coffee shop, in front of STRANGERS!!  He does extremely well.  He was even able to get his bass guitar autographed by a Christian band, The Afters.  This autumn I will be organizing a youth band with practices out of our basement on Saturday mornings. The goal being to play at the Vineyard (above mentioned coffee shop).

One of my final goals for the boys is to play several songs at their joint graduation party next year! I'm so excited!

Raising a Modern Day Knight - Pondering #5

#5 - Making Dinner a Priority

We have always made meal time a priority.

When Matt works 2nd shift, the morning meal and the mid-day meals are the big sit down meals.

When Matt works 3rd shift, the evening meal is the big sit down meal.

Sometimes we will have "Dinner & A Movie Night", whereby we sit in the living room while watching the movie.  Sometimes that actually entails LEAVING the house and really going OUT to dinner and then catching a movie. Those are fun & special treats.

Breakfast is almost always a hot meal consisting of some sort of egg dish, potatoes, hash browns, corned beef hash, rice, meat, Spam, fried onions, black beans, maybe salsa. Tuna used to be in on the list before the big earthquake in Japan, now I won't eat fish at all.  Also included could be tortillas to wrap up things. My latest discovery was Breakfast Tator Tot Casserole!! Very yums!  We used to do lots of cereal or pancakes, muffins, sweet breads, but since I've been watching what we eat and since I have to be gluten-free, pastry items don't really make the breakfast menu often. 

The best breakfasts are leftover cold pizza from Tony's Pizza or leftover Birthday cake.  Whenever there is a birthday, we eat cake for breakfast every morning until it's all gone - our crazy family tradition!

Left over cake for breakfast!

Raising a Modern Day Knight Pondering #4

#4 - What do you love to do with your son?

I love to do practically everything with my sons!

I don't mind doing chores when they are with me. I love to go hiking with them. Bowling is great. Eating together is wonderful.

Life is just that much better with my sons in it!!

When they were the same height!

2010

Raising a Modern Day Knight - Pondering #3

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me. " - Jim Valvano

#3 - Does your son know that you believe in him? How does he know it? What words or actions have you shared that communicates it?

Yes, Rick knows that I believe in him, so does Benny.  How do they know that?  Well, I asked them and we decided that just the fact that we are having this discussion shows that they are aware of my faith in them and that we are communicating about it! LOL

Such a bundle of men I have! Honestly, I say things to them. Things like, "I know you can do this."  or "You'll do great!" or "You always say you don't want to, but then you do and you love it!" That one always "gets" 'em! ahahaha

Raising a Modern Day Knight - Pondering #2

#2 - "What do you love to do with your son?" Today, ask your son what HE loves to do with YOU. Then put it on the calendar and commit to go do that.

Benjamin - "I love to hike with you in Door County."

I do too! We decided that we will be going to Door County this autumn to get in some good hiking - leaving Matt and Rick behind us on the trail, since we hike faster than they do.

Ricky - "I love to be in the kitchen with you."

I love to cook and so does Ricky. Fortunately, we love to be in there together! LOL  I taught him everything I know about baking bread and he has taken off with that. Now we are venturing into the world of gluten-free breads!

My Own Modern Day Knights - #1

#1 - Point to Ponder... Do you tell your son you are proud of him only AFTER he does something well? Your son needs to know you love him and you are proud of him unconditionally. Tell him today.

Rick - I want to tell you that I AM very proud of you for the man you are becoming. I love the way that you help others. The way you jump in and help with babysitting; the way that you went, on your own, to volunteer at the Animal Shelter; the way you console your Dad with Gramma Jean's cancer; your empathy towards others; your righteous anger at religious wars and hypocrisy.  Your bread is wonderful and PRETTY! Thank you for sharing it with others.  If I love you this much, I cannot imagine how much MORE Jesus loves you!

Mother's Day 2012

Ben - Proud beyond measure! My buttons pop when I think of how wonderful your book is! How do you come up with all of that stuff??? Where is it inside your head?  You keep yourself organized and on task and that is a wonderful trait that all employers will want.  You are my Water-Nazi and I thank you for that.  Your compassion for others is limitless. Your sense of humor and witty comebacks never fail to make me laugh. I said when you were a baby that you had a laugh that can make the Angels smile and you DO! I'm so happy that you are my son, I cannot imagine the depth of the happiness that Jesus has for you.

Pescadero, California

940 Saturdays

There are approximately 940 Saturdays in the life of your child, before he or she reaches the age of 18 years.  I have 16 Saturdays left...

How did we spend all of those Saturdays?

In the early years, I was working a 9-5 job Monday thru Friday, therefore, my Saturdays consisted of laundry, shopping, cleaning and baby duty. Hubby worked some of the Saturdays in 12 hour shifts.

We bought a house and I still worked 9-5, Monday thru Friday.  My Saturdays now included laundry, shopping, cleaning, baby duty and yard work.  Hubby still had the job with 12 hours shifts.

Then baby #2 came along with bed rest. Hubby still had the job with 12 hour shifts.

A few years later we added a puppy and I was a SAHM.  Everyday felt like a Saturday!

Then I worked opposite of hubby. No more 9-5 job, but still a Monday thru Friday job. Saturday chores were done on whatever day of the week I had off.

Then we started homeschooling the boys. Saturdays became a day for chores and sleeping in.

Then we started Sunday School.  Saturdays were spent doing chores and any final preparing for left over Sunday School messages and lesson plans.

Fund raising activities happened on Saturdays.

Saturdays went thru many changes: Family Movie Night - Family Game Night - The Day We Will Celebrate Your Birthday Night - Bath Night, etc.  The daytime hours were still spent doing chores and errands.  

Saturdays were sometimes the day I did all sorts of cooking for the upcoming week.

Hubby changed jobs! No more 12 hour shifts, but sometimes Saturdays. That was alright. Our Saturday switched to Sunday afternoons!

Our Saturday/Sunday activities for several years and into the now include: Big Family Breakfasts - Family Movie Time - Family Dinner Time - Visiting Gramma and Grampa Time - Road Trip Day - Baking Day - Game Day - Disposable tableware Day(s) - Sleeping in Late Day(s) - The-day-we-will-celebrate-your-Birthday Night - Eating all the Leftovers Day - Pulling-out-the-futon-and-sofa-sleeper-and-watching-movies-all-day-and-night Nights. Anything and everything we can squeeze into the weekend we do. I try to get all the chores done before the weekend so we can just relax.

I guess we didn't really waste 924 Saturdays! We did lots and lots together. It just so happened that our "Saturday" didn't always fall on a Saturday. We took advantage of any and ALL downtime we had. So, actually, we had more than our fair share of "Saturdays"! I'm so glad we did. I treasure it all.