Intersecting Path, the Dalai Lama and Being Human

I'm reading another book about the Dalai Lama. This one is called, My Spiritual Journey, On page 12 of his book, the section is entitled, It's time to think in human terms.  The part that spoke to me was this part: Consequently, the time has come for us to think in human terms, on a deeper level where we respectfully take into consideration the equality of others, for they are human beings like us. We must construct close relationships in mutual confidence, understanding, and support, without paying attention to differences of culture, philosophy, religion or belief.  He goes on to further explain that human beings are the same - flesh and blood and bones.  That we all have a desire to avoid pain and such; that we all want to be happy.  He says that since we ARE all humans that all the other 'categories' are secondary and unimportant.

When I read that I thought back to my post from yesterday where I was ranting about a poorly thought-out comment made by a family member.  I was thinking that this family member must think that they are on a higher level of being than we are.  That they must think that, since we are not the same, that we are somehow inferior. Or, that they must believe that hs'ing puts one at a disadvantage (socially and eventually economically) and therefore, one becomes inferior.  I then came to the conclusion that this person must only know conditional love.  That they are loved based on performance, ability, cooperation and money.  That the love language best describing this person would be gifts - monetary.  It all makes sense to me now.  This person cannot comprehend being different because this person was  told to fit in and to be like others. Further, that if this person was not like others and did not fit in, that this person was not going to receive love.  

I immediately felt pity for this family member.  This is not how we are to this person at all.  Then I wondered just what this family member has experienced in life.  Regardless, I still feel that it is important to be honest and discuss things like differences, tact, empathy and experiencing life.  I still pity this person. It makes me sad to think that the rest of the life they will experience could be shallow and lonely.

Then, I received a God-smack myself!  I work with the public and sometimes the public is quite raw.  The people that come in are sometimes very fake, but many of them are very real with very real smells, sights and sounds.  There is one person that, while I don't mind helping him, I find him irritating. I find him irritating, dirty and smelly.  That's very wrong of me.  According to the Dalai Lama's words above, I have forgotten that he (this person I described) is a human - first and foremost.  I have forgotten to treat him as an equal.  I'm sure I have my days when I stink too.  I certainly have my share of days when I am not the best example of an empathic and understanding human being. Often, there are some extremely judgmental thoughts that go through my mind.  I am ashamed of myself.  

The next section in the Dalai Lama book is about thinking of everyone as a brother or a sister.  Okay, now this really hit home to me!  I see the person I described above - the smelly, dirty one - yeah, him... I see this guy MORE than I see my half-brother. I see this person more than I see my own Mother, Father, Aunt and best friend.  I have the chance to be a good example of a human being towards this person almost everyday, and I fail EVERY DAY at being decent.  I'm not overly polite, but I am. I'm not overly kind, but I sorta am.  Sometimes, I avoid eye contact with this man, just because I don't want to have to engage in a lengthy conversation with him. No eye contact rarely stops him and there are times when I have no choice, but to help him with his lengthy request(s).  However, I am now determined to look him in the eye every time I have the opportunity to help him.

Usually, I look everyone in their eyes and say hello or goodbye, etc.  Sometimes the people I help are surprised by that and will comment. Sometimes, there are those that don't even notice because they have stopped looking people in the eye themselves.  I think the loss of eye contact is indicative of today's world.  There is a severe lack of human contact with technology. I believe that's why the above mentioned family member does not know how to adequately interact with people with tact and basic unconditional love or compassion.  There are also many people dealing with bitterness and anger.  They are hardened and synical to others and no longer have compassion in their heart. I am greatly saddened. I think that whenever someone gets overly chatty or befriending, I could politely and tactfully say something like, "I'm sorry, but I really should get back to work now." or some other relevant phrase.  Some of the people that come in are lonely and just want to talk to someone. These folks are in no rush to leave the building. Unfortunately, there is work that needs to be completed and we have to learn to juggle being polite with getting our work done.  

I am saddened by the lack of humanity, human-ness that people are enduring.  In an effort to not contribute to this pandemic, I am determined to look every human being in the eye - where politically safe to do so that is! (I think if I were in another country and looked a man in the eye, I may find myself beheaded!) I always thought that I was the type of person that did not discriminate, but I find that I do - and that's wrong. It's one thing to get a sixth sense of danger, but this is not that type of situation.  This is just treating people like I want to be treated.  Afterall, we are all just humans on intersecting paths.