Six Great Men In My Life

Pop and Baby Danny 11-2012

There are six great men in my life. These men have taught me many things. Things that are good, bad, funny, necessary and even heartbreaking, but all very worthwhile and important to the woman I am this day.

I'm only including the men that are alive. While I could include my Grandfathers and a Step-Dad, I'm not writing about them today. Today is for the living.

Me & Pop - 1970

Starting with Pop. My Pop is in the photo above. He's holding my nephew, Daniel - Danny to me and forever.  This was taken yesterday, 11.3.2012.  Pop taught me how a woman should be treated. He taught me this by not only treating me the way a woman should be treated, but by treating me the way a woman should not be treated.  He didn't do anything immoral with me - don't go there! LOL YIKES!! I'm a total Daddy's Girl, but he was young and made plenty of mistakes with parenting. I love him all the same. Pop and I have a crazy telepathic bond. I kid-you-not. Pop just knows when I need him and I never fail to call, just when he is thinking of or needing my shoulder.  I'm a smart cookie and I don't sugar coat, I know he's a rascal of all kinds, but he's my Pop.  When I have cooking questions, depending on what I'm making, I'll give him a call.  If I need someone in my corner, I call Dad. If I'm crying and heartbroken about my mother, his first wife, I call him. He is the only other person on earth (besides my Auntie) that knows her like I do. Actually, I don't think my Auntie knows her the same way Pop and I know her, but she knows LOTS. Anyway! My Pop - the first man I ever fell in love with - the only way a Daddy's Girl can fall. He'd sing me to sleep and give me butterfly kisses. When I had a nightmare, I'd go to Dad. He became Pop when he stayed with us for a while - we needed a different title for him, for the boys. Pop it is!

Matt. My hubby. He taught me that just because we argue - doesn't mean that someone has to LEAVE. That's what I learned from my parents I guess.... every time they argued, Mom would leave.  Matt taught me to stay.  You hear the phrase, "Real men don't leave."  Well, yeah, okay, but what about women? Strong women know when to stay, when to leave and when to get her "Black-Chick Swag" on and take off her earrings!! LOL "Don't make me take off my earrings!"  Matt treats me like a lady. Matt treats me with love. Matt is AWESOME!!! He loves me in my Love Language (acts of service). That means he takes out the scary, smelly garbage when it's dark and scary outside.  That means he will help me with things when I'm too tired or hurting. Take a bullet for Matt? Drink poison for him? Wash his dirty underwear? YOU BET!!!

Me & Mario - 2009

Mario. My little brother. Mario taught me all about nature vs. nurture. Mario and I, at most, have had approximately 10 months of our lives in which we have lived together.  We are so alike! It's a crazy and creepy kind of thing! I mean, I don't mind people knowing that I'm alot like my brother, but I bet he isn't so crazy about people thinking he's like a girl - even if it is his sister! LOL When Dad had Mario with Claudia. I didn't want to be with my mother, I wanted to be with Dad and my little brother. It broke my mother's heart. At the time, I'd drink poison for him. Now, I'd just SLAP it out of his hands and say, "What the FUCK are you doing!?!?!! That's POISONED for crap sake!!! Don't drink that!!" LOLOL

Rick, Mario, Benny - 2009

My sons, Rick and Ben. I knew that I would love my children, but I did not know that I would fall in love with my children. I never knew that I could love another being as much as I love my sons. I love my brother alot - and I would have taken a bullet for him. Then I had children. Before my sons were born I didn't know I could love someone even MORE than I loved Mario. Then along came Rick and Ben. I didn't know I was capable of that much love!!!  I'd take a bullet for my boys. I used to say I'd take a bullet for Mario, but now that I'm a mom, I'd just shove Mario out of the way and duck myself. LOL My boys though - I'd lay my life down for them.

Mario and Baby Danny - 2012

Then! Along comes Baby Danny. I have yet to hold him physically in my arms. It's all virtual. I'm all about Auntie tears and tons of love. How can I love one tiny little man so much without holding him in my arms??!!! Baby Danny is teaching me all about loving someone that really isn't mine, but is related. Baby Danny made me love my Sister-in-Law more than I ever dreamed I could love her. I mean, if Mario loves her, that's enough for me - I love her too. Unconditionally. It's just that now she has expanded my family. Family is everything to me. She has given me a gift - the gift of being an Auntie. I ADORE my Aunties! I never thought I'd be an Auntie. I was my parents only child until I was 13 years old.  I'm a big sister and I love Mario with everything a sister who lives 1500 miles away can give.  Now he has made me an Auntie!!

I didn't know, growing up, that I could love with such ferocity.  I didn't know I could love so unconditionally.  I didn't know I could love.  I was loved growing up. I am a loving person and always have been. I've worn my heart on my sleeve my entire life, but these six great men have stretched my heart in ways I never knew existed.

Thank you guys - I love you.

Daddys & Their Little Girls

I was at the coffee shop one night. It's a christian book store and coffee shop.  

Well, when I was there on this particular evening, I was sitting facing the storefront windows.  I happened to look up when a young man was walking in with his little girl.  She was probably about 7 years old, not much older than that.  They were holding hands and she was chatting away in the manner that I assume all little girls chat.  The young man looked down once in a while, smiling and responding with words that I could not hear.  She was all bouncy and skipping her way across the parking lot, all the while holding tight to her Daddy's hand.  He came to the traffic lane, put  his hand on her shoulder to stop her, looked both ways, took her hand again and they crossed the lane and entered the store.

He bought her a sweet drink and a coffee for himself and then they looked around a bit and left.

I was thrown back into memories and longing at the same time. Memories of a walk that I took with my Dad at a tender young age; and longing for those memories to be tender like the moment I had just witnessed.  The one walk I do remember with my Dad was not a tender moment.

So, as not to become a bitter and angry woman, I decided that I needed to really search for a good walking memory for Dad and I. I can choose to be happy and full of joy or I can choose anger.  There aren't too many memories, however, I do have a few...

Pescadero

Walking along Pescadero beach.

Shopping with him in 1995 - we were looking for a fun shirt for my newborn baby - a trinket to remember the trip later.

Walking with him, while holding his hand, to his Father's funeral.

Walking through the marsh with him when he came to visit us in our home here in Wisconsin.

Not many walks, not many at all, but these few that I do have I have decided to hang on to. I have decided to put them at the front of my memory banks.  I am happy for the little girl that I saw. Happy that she will have some young memories of happiness and togetherness with her Daddy.  I may not have had the best role models, but there are good role models out there that I can use as examples and conversation starters for my own sons.  I may not personally have had the best, but God puts people in my path, thereby showing me some of the best that is out there; and for that I am thankful.

Happy Hallmark Day Honey!

He is so funny! After knowing each other for something like 30 years and going, you gotta love that there is still romance to it all!

"Happy Hallmark Day Honey!" and he hands me a piece of chocolate.

We were up late last night. Do you know how that goes?  You've spent all day - or pretty much all of it - apart. The dishes may or may not be done. The laundry has been washed and fluffed and re-fluffed, put into baskets, sorted on your bed --- only to be put back into the laundry basket(s) because now it is 11:30 p.m. and you are bone tired.  Ready for bed, lights are off and you continue to talk for hours! LOL  Well, that was us last night! Exhausted and talking thru the night. He had his MP3 player playing through the head phones. It was quiet enough in the house that I could hear what was playing.  What was playing was Say Hey, I Love You by Michael Franti and Spearhead.  So we sang that together - it happens to have a guy and a chicka singing as a duet, so we can both sing along!  After that some blues song sang, I Love You - it was during this I Love You song that I slipped into slumber, cuddled up to my sweet Hallmark guy.

Yeah, you gotta love loving someone for 30 years...

Happy Anniversary ~ He Has Stayed By My Side Thru It All

It is 21 years - and counting!

We've been dating since our Junior year of high school, however, I've loved him since 1982.  I met Matt on the playground at Jefferson school.  I was the new girl with a terrible afro haircut, beginning at the very end of the year - only 2 months to go until summer release. One day I went home and told my Mom that I found the man I was going to marry.  She replied, "The man, huh?"  I said, "Yup."  She asked me who and I told her it was Matt.  She was probably all worried that I was in love with the janitor; or that I had a crush on a teacher.

In high school EVERYONE knew I was in love with Matt! I DO mean EVERYONE! Other girls liked Matt too, but I stared them down!! They stayed away.  However, it took Matt a lot longer to realize that he liked me - I don't know WHY!! I was so obvious about it. His name was on every notebook and book cover - even written in ink on my NIKE shoes!  Creepy little girl that I was, can you stalker behavior??! When we got to 7th & 8th grade, I'd call his house to ask  him if he would be going to the school dance(s). Not even asking him if he would go WITH me, but was he going AT ALL.  Well, he didn't go and I ended up getting a kiss from a cute guy in a gorilla costume!  The worst case was when Gordy just wouldn't leave me alone - I swear that boy had the body of an octupus - 8 arms all over me! It was a challenge! One time, for a Homecoming, I asked him if he would just meet me at the school.  He said YES!!! Oh my gosh! I was a nervous wreck all night.  I say "all night", because Matt NEVER showed up!!!  He said he was in the parking lot all night, too scared to come in.  WHATEVER!!! I was stuck going 'round and round' with a guy that only wanted to get in my pants all night!  I TOTALLY let Matt know how upset I was and what I had to deal with all night long.  I don't know if he felt bad or thought it was funny, but he did say he was truly sorry.  I didn't talk to him for a long time after that.  However, finally, in our Junior year, at a basketball game, he asked me if I wanted his ring.  I was sitting with my bestie - Renae.  Matt was sitting behind Renae and I, with Greg.  When Matt asked if I wanted his ring, I was stunned! Shocked. I couldn't speak!  I turned in my seat and probably did something really stupid like GIGGLE (horrors!!), but when I heard him say to Greg, "See, she doesn't want it."  I spun around in my seat and said, "Give me that! Of course I want it!"

Up until this time another friend of mine was trying to constantly find me "A Guy"  she would introduce me to them and then later I'd say, "He's cute, but he's not my type."  Again and again, my standard answer for every guy in my life was, "He's cute, but he's not my type."  Finally, after all those years of trying, Cheryl asked me in desperation, "What IS your type?!"  I answered, "Matt."  There were even times when Cheryl told guys, "She'll think you are cute, but you aren't her type."  I'd go out with them for the evening and we'd have fun, but rarely did they get more than one date with me.  They were all very cute (HOT even!! Cheryl really did find the hotties! Woowee!), but, so very NOT my type.

Matt was a breath of fresh air for me.  I liked him all along, but he wasn't ready.  I can't blame him, I was a mess!!!  Obviously, I had dated a few other  questionable guys that wanted nothing more than to "get in my pants."  Two of them didn't want me at all - they only dated me to get closer to a friend of mine.  TWICE!!! Another guy kissed like a fish - I needed a towel when he was done kissing me.  Another guy had braces and really hurt my mouth when he kissed me.  There was the guy that my under-cover detective Step-Dad was following while we were out because that guy would do drug deals when I'd go to the bathroom!!  Said guy also had quite a few other girlfriends in other school districts.  There was the older brother of another friend - that was too weird.  I think I even went out to eat with Renae's brother, but that was too weird also - too close of friends.  Someone had a cousin; someone else had a son - was Tyra interested? No, not, really.  Only one time did Matt tell me to stay away from a guy I was dating... he asked me what I was doing with him.  I got really upset with Matt and told him that since he was clearly not interested in dating me that he should mind his own business - and I stomped away.

Finally, all the other guys filtered out of my life. It was just "Me, Myself and I" trying to find myself in the middle of the chaos called high school.  I was in a dysfunctional home. I was battling endometriosis, severe depression, suicide, crooked hips that were quite painful at times, an eating disorder, self-esteem issues, AODA meetings, meetings with guidance counselors, psychiatric counselors & social workers and repressed memories from sexual abuse, all while trying to get decent grades!  

Then there was Matt.  After that basketball game, it took Matt 4 months to kiss me or hold my hand. A guy (C.K.) that wanted to date me, gave me grief EVERYDAY about Matt not holding my hand or kissing me.  C.K. would even walk up behind me to try to get my hand into his.   He'd meet up with me in quite hallways trying to get me to kiss him. He was really very sweet about it all. C.K. was very nice - even cute! My Step-dad really liked him too, but... he wasn't my type.  I tried to hide it all from Matt and I told C.K. that it was alright with me that Matt didn't push our relationship further.  C.K. finally took the hint and left me alone.    Matt knew I had been hurt by other guys, but didn't know any details. He just knew it wasn't good.  He was quite content to just hold my hand and I was quite relaxed with him not asking me for anything more than that.  Matt never wanted to hurt me.

All these years later, I can honestly say that Matt has never hurt me.  He has always been there for me - thru all of my sickness ~ which is far more common than the health part of those vows.  He stays by my side when I know that any of those other yahoos would have left.  He stays by my side when we have to revert to those days of hand holding and cuddles only because I'm in too much pain.

I still find myself looking at him and thinking, "Wow. I can't believe I'm married to Matt."  There are also the times when we both look in the mirror and think, "Who is this person?  Where is my childhood sweetheart thru the gray hair and voluptuous figure?"  and then we remember. Then we see thru the years of living and see the person through a laugh or an old joke.

It all comes back to me and I find myself still in love with him.

Love Tank is Filled

Had a great breakfast with Renae today! We met up at a restaurant and had breakfast together. She wanted to take me out for my birthday --- back in December, but I couldn't fit her into my schedule until TODAY!! Terrible!  December is incredibly busy though.  Thankfully, she is a patient friend. We didn't leave the restaurant until just over 2 hours had passed!  Time flies! She had a yummy french toast with bacon and I had scrambled eggs and a double order of hashbrowns! I think Ren' drank a whole pot of coffee!

Then! I had an equally great visit with my Auntie. She hasn't been feeling well due to an infection in her leg.  I wanted to go visit her this weekend, but she was sleepy.  Since I was so close today, I popped in for a quick visit. I'm so glad I did. She's good for a good time and a good laugh.  Her IV's were hanging from the ceiling fan! It was so funny!

Then, then, then!!! I came home to a great smelling home with dishes done, supper made and school work completed!!  Hubby had a meatloaf and potatoes in the oven and lunch on the stovetop!  It was great. The house smelled incredible.

But, wait! There's More!! (think ginsu knives) Since I didn't really have anything pressing to do, we sat around and watched movies all night drinking cocoa and cuddling with the kitty-gato.  We watched some of the Band of Brothers, parts of  Twilight and now parts of You've Got Mail.  The cocoa was yums. I found a wonderful mug from Good-Will last week. It was only $.49. It's pretty too. Turquoise green, flowers and a green and yellow stripe on the top rim and a purple stripe on the bottom rim.  It isn't hand thrown, but it was made to look as if it were. Kitty-gato was cold and buried his nose into Rick's tummy and wedged himself in between Rick and the rocking chair cushy.

My new beret that I just completed!

I also finished my hat!  It will match a scarf that I made.

Sometimes we all need a day like this one ~ filled with great food, friendship, hugs, cocoa, warm blankies and love, love, love! ♥

Thanks so much everyone! My love tank is filled!

Waiting for Hubby To....

Matt arriving home after errands

with Sophie Baby!

I'm waiting for hubby to get home from work.  These last 15 minutes of the day, before he gets home, are the longest of my day!  I'm anxious. I'm excited. I'm impatient.  I'm also tired!

When he gets home, sometimes we all bombard him with our attention. It can be overwhelming.  The Leo-Kitty waits patiently by the side-door for him.  Sophie Bubbles greets him with whole-body tail wagging and whining.  We usually greet him all at the same time!  Sometimes the boys are at the door or in the dining room waiting.  Sometimes I'm at the door, unlocking it for him.  He can also find me in the recliner watching a good Doctor Who episode.  Sometimes there is a light on for him.

We can have ice water waiting ~~ or a cold beer!

It is the longest 15 min. of my day waiting to hear, "Honey, I'm home!"

I'm glad he likes to come home!

Don't Kick the Dog

A Ricky quote that made us laugh... and then pet Sophie.

"I sense a presence of stupidity in the room."

"Oh wait, it's just the dog."

LOL "awww... it's alright Sophie." pat pat pat

April 18, 2011 - 15 years old



Strawberry Poke Cake
This cake was for the day before your birthday.
We celebrated with Great Gramma Wille.



Tyra, Ben, Rick, Matt
Our Fondu FEAST
15 different items!



Some of the yummy Fondu items.



Handsome young man at 15 years.
Got you a new MP3 player.



Goofy Boy!!!
Triple layer cinnamon cake.
Tried to make it look like a mushroom...
or something!
This cake was for at our house.
For the DAY OF your birthday.



Winter Living in Pictures

Your Snowy Backyard Winter Wonderland
Jan. 2011

  

You at Worship
Jan. 2011





You at Worship
Jan. 2011





Awww... just how I like you both to be!
Benny, Me and Ricky
Dec. 2010



Your Love Languages

You each have your own love language. They are as different as you two are!

I read a book: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Actually, I read The Five Love Languages of Children, The Five Love Languages of Teenagers, The Five Love Languages of Apology and the original - The Five Love Languages. He has several more and variations of the original. They're very good. I've purchased several over the years and have given most of them away - only to have purchase more in the hopes of keeping one for myself! It will definately be a must read for each of you the closer you get to an engagement.

My oldest, your love language is "Time Spent", then a tie for second is "Touch" and "Gifts"

My youngest, your love language is "Touch", then "Words of Affirmation".

Your Father is "Touch" and "Time Spent" both equally.

I'm "Acts of Service" then "Time Spent"

I hope you remember this and never lose your copy of the book that I will make sure ends up on a bookshelf in your next home away from ours.

Yes, the sun does rise and set on your.... tush!

There's a scripture, John 14:6 ... No one comes to the Father except through me. That 'me' being Jesus.

I have a saying that you both just laugh and laugh about: "You cannot get to the son, without going through the Momma!"

What I mean is, there isn't a girl out there that will be good for you... UNTIL after she's my friend.

Yes, my dear sons, your Mother fully believes that the sun rises and sets on your ass. I used to be so protective. I would even take your Daddy aside, after he was disciplining you; I'd say to him, "Why/What are you doing/saying to my son?!!!" I wasn't very nice about it either!!! I'm waay more relaxed now and YOUR Dad and I are STILL married and happy! L&L&LOL

I know you can both be poop-heads and I know that you aren't perfect, but I sure do have fun being your Momma!